DOCTOR WHO MARATHON 64th MEET-UP - CARNIVAL OF MONSTERS

Sunday 30th October 2016

Well a couple of weeks had passed and the festivities of the anniversary meet-up were a distant memory.  Quite good really as I had gotten VERY drunk that day and woke up with a horrid hang-over!  Anyhow just before October finished we gathered around Mark's to watch this little four-parter.....

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MJ: "We are round Mark's.  Going to watch 'The Carnival Of Monsters' -"
Jason: "- Woo!"
MJ: "- And I've nev - I was going to say I've never seen this before, but yes I have!  I saw it when I bought it - ages ago!" *Leigh laughs* "And, erm, yes it's quite good.  I'd forgotten that we was going to have Doctor Who today!  I went to the pub last night with everyone and they said 'It's Doctor Who tomorrow'.  And I said 'No we haven't!'  And they were like 'Yeah we have!  YOU organised it, MJ!!!'  So yes I'm officially an idiot!  This is for the people reading at home - that don't!"
*Laughter*
Shaun: "I always read it!"
Mark: "I occasionally read it."
Jason: "I used to read it at work."
Shaun: "I thoroughly enjoy it!"
MJ: "You should read it NOW, you know.  Pretend you were there..."
Leigh: "I've never read one of them."
*Laughter*
Jason: "You've read four of them!"
MJ: "You'd be VERY amused!  You'd find out about your, erm, gift box that you get once a month - or whatever it is!"
*Leigh Laughs*
Shaun: "Plus MJ puts in a small reference to you having sex with a different animal every time, so...." *Leigh Laughs*  "It's just fun to find out which one that is!"

*Leigh Laughs*

MJ: "The iguana got a lot of 'Likes' - if you could 'Like' it!  Just people commented 'Like'."

*Laughter*
Shaun: "Now, now.  We don't get comments!"
MJ: "Okay so that's it!  Well it's a four-parter, nice easy one.  I'd better get one because Siobhan (my wife) said she's cooking for her Dad and me, so 'Don't be late'!"
*Laughter* "Episode One!!"
Mark: "How late is 'Late'?"
MJ: "Oh we'll just watch it and see what happens!"

*EPISODE ONE STARTS*

MJ: "Oh by the way there's someone from 'Hi-Di-Hi' in this one!  So see if you can spot him!"
Shaun: "Or her!!"
Jason: "Oh it's a him?!  Is it the jockey guy?"
Leigh: "Is it Su Pollard?"
MJ: *Does impression of Su Pollard's Peggy character* "Geroff!"
Shaun: "It's GOT to be Su Pollard!"

Photo 1: At Mark's house.

Shaun, Leigh (with the DVD case), Jason & Mark (holding the sign).

*EPISODE ONE GETS WATCHED*

MJ: "End of Part One and the TARDIS has been taken away by a giant hand!  And they've gone back to the 1920's or something - on a ship."
Shaun: "Which is not a real one."
MJ: "Not a real ship!  Shaun looked it up - what was it called?"
Shaun: "The SS Bernice."
MJ: "Yes.  And there are some other people in the future.  One of them was from 'Hi-Di-Hi' (Leslie Dwyer who played Vorg in this but was later famous as the miserable Punch and Judy entertainer Mr. Partridge who hated children!) and the other one (his assistant) reminds me of Raquel from 'Only Fools & Horses' but it's not her."
Jason: "Do we know it's the future?  I mean I presume -"
MJ: "- Well it's a different planet!"
Shaun: "THAT is a different thing to the future!  Like Mars isn't the future!"
MJ: "No, no."
Shaun: "Mars is a different planet."
Leigh: "But when you get there it WILL be the future, from here."
Jason: "It'll take AGES to get there!"
Shaun: "It takes an amount of time to get there!"
Leigh: "Yeah!"
Jason: "What if I left in the past?"
MJ: "Well we'll leave it there - on to Part Two!"

Photo 2: At Mark's house.

Shaun, Leigh (with the DVD case), MJ & Mark (holding the sign).

*EPISODE TWO GETS WATCHED*

MJ: "So The Doctor and Jo are inside a tiny machine!" *Laughs* "And now they're being menaced by a Drashig!!  Which is a massive - dunno.  Monster, thing."
Mark: "I'm sure it'll get bored at the start of the next episode and move on!"
*Laughter*
MJ: "Hey!  No!  Maybe...."
*Mark chuckles*

Shaun: "They TEASED us with a Cyberman!  I want a Cyberman now!"

MJ: "Mmm.  So inside this box they've got lots of miniaturised creatures.  So it's like a little zoo....or carnival, as he calls it.  Of Monsters!  There was Cybermen in there - apparently.  Our first glimpse of the Cybermen since, erm..."

Leigh: "1842."

*Laughter*

MJ: "Since 'The Invasion' with Patrick Troughton."

Shaun: "Was it?!"

MJ: "Yeah, yeah.  We've not had any Cyberman stories at all.  And if I was a betting man I'd say I don't think we will until Tom Baker....  If I was a betting man!" *Laughs*

Shaun: "I'd like to point out that I am placing my bet on the Drashig turning out to be The Master!"

*Laughter*

MJ: "Oh dear...  Always The Master - never the bride!"

Mark: "I think that it will be Middle-Management Man Three!"

Jason: "Ohhh I think it might be Two!"

*Mark laughs*

MJ: "I like the, erm, grey men."

Shaun: "I REALLY don't!  I think they are TERRIBLE both in script and in acting!"

*Laughter*

Leigh: "I think they're quite good!!"
MJ: "Yeah!"
Jason: "I like arguing Middle-Management types, they're good."
MJ: "Yeah!  Sarcastic and they're like 'Ohhh!  I don't know about THIS!?'  And they don't seem to like each other!  Or ANYTHING!"
Jason: "Yeah, you know.  I mean the costumes are a bit s**t but that's fine!"

*Leigh laughs*

Leigh: "Ooo look at our fabulous weapon!"

MJ: "Yeah their weapon which destroyed it - which didn't destroy it!"

*Mark chuckles*

Shaun: "Their 'Irradicator something'?  I can't remember what the other word was."

Jason: "Oh.  It was like an extra bit they didn't need."

Shaun: "Yeah."

MJ: "Like 'Irradicator Destroyer'!  Hah!"

*Laughter*

Shaun: "Like 'Discombobulator'!"

MJ: "That's my favourite kind of 'Bobulator'!"

Shaun: "They have a device called 'The Irradicator' and they've obviosuly never tried it as it irradicates f**k all!" *Laughter*  "That's BLATANT mis-marketing!"

Mark: "It works fine on organic material."

Shaun: *Laughing * "But it didn't!!  'Cos it didn't destroy all the organic material in the thing!!"

Mark: "No, providing that the organic material ISN'T behind something!"

*Laughter*

Leigh: "Like a wall!"

Mark: "Or clothes."

*Laughter*

MJ: "What do you think of their costumes?  The Carnival people?"

Leigh: "Oh they're brilliant!"

Jason: "Oh I hate them!"

MJ: "Yeah?"

Jason: "It was much better when he (Vorg) took His jacket, his top, off.  His overcoat.  I don't like his little doughnut things!"

Shaun: "The doughnut things, yeah!"

Leigh: "I do like his see-through bowler hat!"

*Laughter*

Jason: "That was futuristic in the '70s I suppose."

MJ: "Yeah.  His assistant has make up and - "

Jason: "- She looks a BIT better!"

MJ: "That's probably 'cos it's skimpier!"

*Leigh laughs*

Jason: "Not REALLY."

Leigh: "What so you think the bloke, Vorg, would look better if his outfit was skimpy!?"

Jason: "You can see his head!"

Shaun: "So, from our conversation earlier, the bloke with the see-through hat is Su Pollard, yeah!?"

MJ: "Yeah that's Su Pollard."

Leigh: "Yeah - or The Master."

Shaun: "Or The Master!  Oh no the Drashig is The Master!"

MJ: "Yes that's an interesting monster they've got there...." *Leigh chuckles* "All I was thinking of, in my head as I was watching it, was that 'Red Dwarf' episode, 'Meltdown', where they have those really bad dinosaurs that come in!"

Jason: "I was thinking that!  The crow thing."

MJ: "The crow thing - which they've nicked from some Japanese movie."

Shaun: "I don't remember that off the top of my head?"

Leigh: "Oh it's in the starting titles of that entire series!"

MJ: "Yeah, Series IV."

Shaun: "I'll have to go back and watch season IV."

MJ: "The one with the Waxdroids."

Shaun: "Oh I'm with you now!  I had to explain to someone the other day that that was a parody of 'Westworld'."

MJ: "Oh I didn't know that - but I've never seen 'Westworld'.  I've heard of it - it's got yer man in it, errr, yer bald man."

Shaun: "Yul Brynner."

MJ: "Yes, who was Kojak..." *Laughs*

Jason: "And Duncan Goodhew..."

MJ: "Yeah - and he was Jean-Luc Picard.  And he was whatsisface from 'Superman' - Lex Luther!" *Laughing*

Jason: "That's him!"

Shaun: "Gene Hackman."

MJ: "Or, erm, the man from 'Smallville'."

Shaun: "Michael Rosenbaum."

MJ: "Yeah."

Jason: "Bald people.  So this is BEFORE 'Hi-Di-Hi', right!?"

*Laughter*

MJ: "Yes this episode is quite a long time before 'Hi-Di-Hi'.  That came about in the early 1980s (1st January 1980 to be exact!) whereas this was 1974, maybe? (Actually 1973)"

Jason: "He was type-cast as an entertainer then!"

MJ: "But I'm thinking - the guy in it who was in 'Hi-Di-Hi' - he looks REALLY old here, doesn't he?!"

Jason: "Yeah."

MJ: "I'm thinking how OLD was he in, bloody, 'Hi-Di-Hi' in..."

Leigh: "Older."

Jason: "Yeah."

MJ: "Well, thank you Leigh!" (He was 75 when he started 'Hi-Di-Hi'!)

*Leigh laughs*

Shaun: "I must say, actually, this is the MOST I've ever talked about 'Hi-Di-Hi' in my life!"

*Laughter*

Jason: "And yet no-one's said 'Ho-di-ho' yet!"

MJ: "Except for YOU, then!"

Shaun: "Well done!  High-five - mini high-five!"

Jason: "Hi-Di-High-Five!"

*Laughter*

MJ: "And I'm going to leave that on THAT bombshell!  That was a GREAT pun!  On to Episode Three!"

Photo 3: At Mark's house.

Shaun, Leigh (with the DVD case), Jason & Mark (holding the sign).

*EPISODE THREE GETS WATCHED*

MJ: "That's a tiny Doctor that's just come out of the machine and made the girl - Shurna - go 'Arrrggghhh'!...."
*Silence*
Leigh: *Laughing* "Yeah that's it!  That's all that happened!!"
MJ: "Sorry, I just saw (in the credits that) 'Michael Wisher' was one of those characters - Michael Wisher plays the first Davros.  Who!!?"
Jason: "He says 'Calm down, Dear'!"
*Leigh Laughs*
MJ: "What Michael Winner??!" *Does impression*
Mark: "He's not Michael Winner!"
Jason: "He IS better - he's a winner!"
Shaun: "He made 'Death Wish'."
Jason: "And probably all the others!"
*Leigh Laughs*

Jason: "Michael Wisher WISHES he was in 'Death Wish'!"

*Leigh Laughs*

MJ: "I like the tribute to that film - about the guy who wishes that he couldn't hear any more..."

*Pause for a second  - MJ does a slight snigger*

Jason: "Oh!"

MJ: "'Deaf Wish' for the people reading....  Pause - last part."

Mark: "Are you doing an explanation of that joke for yourself?!"
*Leigh Laughs* 

*EPISODE FOUR STARTS*

 MJ: "Mini Doctor."

Shaun: "Falls over."
MJ: "And gets bigger.  On on!"

Photo 4: At Mark's house.

Leigh (with the DVD case) & MJ (holding 'The Book').

*EPISODE FOUR GETS WATCHED*

MJ: "And we finish with the nice smiling face of the lady!"
Jason: "She could have been a companion."
MJ: "Whose name was Flo - or whatever it was!"
Jason: "Shana/Sheena/Shuna."
MJ: "Sheena/Shuna whatever it was!"
Shaun: *Reading end credits* "Cheryl Hall!"
MJ: "Shirna, yes!  Played by Cheryl Hall.  Well that was good fun!  I enjoyed that one.  'Carnival Of Monsters'."
Jason: "It did have lots of good bits, I thought."
Leigh: "Yeah!"
MJ: "Erm, as I said before, written by Robert Holmes who wrote some classic ones.  Always had a good sense of humour.  That certainly showed in that one.  And the Drashigs were amazing monsters..." *Leigh laughs* "I don't know why you're laughing, Leigh!?"
Jason: "I liked the tapeworms!  I liked the camp one (Orum), the boss one (Pletrac) - he was alright."
MJ: "Oh yeah them things!  Yeah they were good!"
Jason: "Sorry, what were they called?
MJ: "Erm the Drashigs were the monsters."
Jason: "Yeah they were."
MJ: "What were they called?"
Leigh: "Lurmans.  Something like that." (they were actually called the 'Inter Minorians')
Shaun: "No, they kept saying the Lurmans were their enemy."
Mark: "Yeah."
Jason: "The Lurmans were the showmen people, weren't they?"
Shaun: "'Cos I kept thinking of Baz Luhrmann!"
MJ: "Haha!  'Baz Luhrmann'!"
Shaun: "That's all I could think of!  'Why do you HATE the Director that made Leonardo DiCaprio's career'!!??" *Laughter* "We've all forgiven him, now, for 'Titanic'!"
MJ: This is all relevant..."
Shaun: "It's incredibly relevant!!!"
*Leigh laughs*
Shaun: *Noticing the hand-made sign that we pose with* "The sign looks different - The sign looks different - The sign looks different - that's not the normal font!!"
Mark: "You didn't type that one!"
Shaun: "Oh I don't like this!!"
Jason: "Did you use a stencil?"
MJ: "No I just drew it, quickly, earlier and it's not centred or anything 'cos yesterday, obviously, I had no idea we were doing 'Doctor Who'...."
*Laughter*
Jason: "I know you CAN write it like that, but I don't like 'Dr' written like that!"
Shaun: "No, me neither!"
Jason: "You should have done the whole thing!"
Shaun: Yep!"
MJ: "But I ALWAYS do it like that?"
Jason: "Well, I didn't like it before!"
*Leigh laughs*

MJ: "'Cos I've shortened it to 'D R, full stop'."

Mark: "I don't like your 'i'."

Leigh: "That could be short for 'Drive'."

Shaun: "Or 'Drashigs'!  Drashigs Who!"

MJ: "So did you enjoy that then Shaun?"

Shaun: "I enjoyed it.  I wouldn't say it was GOOD but I enjoyed it!" *Laughter* "It was quite fun."

Jason: "Yeah.  I wouldn't take it seriously."

MJ: "No, no I don't think it is!  It just seems to be a bit of a romp, didn't it?"

Jason: "I like that bit - it seemed to be good burning of doors!  That was quite effective."

MJ: "I liked the guy from back in the past - 'I say!  By Jove!  What's going on here'!!?"

Jason: "Yeah that was good fun."

MJ: "I like people like that."

*Leigh snorts a laugh*

Photo 5: At Mark's house.

Shaun, Leigh (with the DVD case), Jason & Mark (holding the sign).

Shaun: "I liked 'The Eradicator' gun that was useless!"

MJ: "Useless."
*Leigh laughs*
Jason: "It did its job!"

Shaun: "It did at the end."
MJ: "Oh it eventually eradicated!"

Shaun: "A laser that the guy just HAPPENED to have from his time in the Intergalactic Service!"
Jason: "They laid the seed of the gun early on."
MJ: "Eurggh!"
Jason: "It didn't really eradicate - no."
Mark: "No it just killed things - it didn't eradicate them."
Shaun: "No."
MJ: "So let's do marks."
Shaun: "We need to do scores before Jason reads 'The Book'."
Jason: "Alright.  I don't know what I gave the last one, I think it was alright.  Seven maybe?"
MJ: "Yeah I think that's alright."
Shaun: "Seven is not an alright score!?"
Jason: "What do you call alright?  Five?  Well no I think -"
Shaun: "I'd say five is alright.  With zero being terrible!"
Jason: "Well that's how I used to judge things!  That were passable.  Alright I'll give it a six!"
MJ: "Oh no, if YOU think it's a seven!"
Shaun: "Oh no, I'm not taking away from your seven!!  I was just questioning it!"
Jason: "No I expect VERY good ones to come.  Therefore this is a six.  There must be at least THREE better!  Six point five!"
MJ: "Six point five for Jason.  Mark?"
Mark: "I'm giving up on them being good at all - " *HUGE LAUGHTER!* "So that's probably a seven point two.  At least it was fun."
MJ: "Oh yeah, you enjoyed it.  I know you're a big fan of Pertwee as well..."
Mark: "I AM a big fan of Pertwee."
Leigh: "Well I'm going to give it an eight as I thought it was witty!"
MJ: "I did too!!!  I was laughing a lot!  I will agree with Leigh - eight!  And Shaun?"
Shaun: *Laughing* "I'm going to break your curve, I'm afraid.  I'm going to go with a four point six five two."
*Leigh laughs*
MJ: "Wow!  So you really did not like it much at all?!"
Mark: "I think you're judging them on the basis of other Doctors - aren't you?"
Shaun: "No."
Mark: "You've got to judge it on the Pertwee era."
Shaun: "No.  I was NOT remotely engaged with that at all!  I quite enjoyed bits of it but for the most part I was going 'That's another one isn't it...'  The bad guys were rubbish - nothing we hadn't seen before.  Incredibly poorly defined."
Jason: "I'll give you a positive.  Over two thirds of the last episode they said 'The Doctor's going to go back into the machine'.  In ANY other story that would have been four episodes!" *Loud laughter* "I was getting worried!  What's he going to do?  Go in and come back out again!?"
Shaun: "Well, whatever I score, I said, the point-whatever-it-was, was for it NOT being two parts longer!!"
Jason: "I'm going up to six point eight!"
Shaun: "I'm not even taking a point off for The Master not being it!"
*Laughter*
Jason: "He was in it - they just didn't show it!"
*Laughter*

Shaun: "I enjoyed it but, as I said before, it wasn't good!  It was just...."

MJ: "But what does 'The Book' think!?  What SHOULD we have thought?"

Jason: "Hold on, I've not found it yet!  Here we go - oh there's not a lot written about it." *Sighs, then reads from 'The Book'* " 'Aboard a nineteen twenties cargo ship The Doctor and Jo contend with an anachronistic Plesiosaur.'  Oh yeah, 'cos THAT was a big part of the whole thing!"

*Leigh laughs*

Shaun: "They forgot about that, after all."

Jason: *Reading from 'The Book'* " 'Filming took place on the Royal Fleet axillary ship Robert Dundas.' "

MJ: "Oh it actually wasn't a set!"

Jason: "Wasn't 'Bernice'." *Reading from 'The Book'* " 'As it sailed from Chatham to -' it actually moved!?"*Reading from 'The Book'* " 'Chatham to Sheerness on the River Medway in Kent.  The Drashigs' hunting grounds were filmed in Tillingham Marsh, Essex.  THREE latex and foam' -" *Shaun cheers and Mark and Leigh laugh* " '- were made with fox skulls as heads!!' "

*Oooo and ahh's from the others*

Jason: "I didn't get that!" *Reading from 'The Book'* " 'Verdict:' - oh wow..."

*Laughter*

Shaun: "Okay."

Leigh: "They hate it."

Photo 6: At Mark's house.

MJ (holding 'The Book') & Mark (holding the sign).

Jason: "Can everyone say their scores again?  Alright I'm going up to a six point eight for me!"

MJ: "Mine was eight, Leigh was eight."

Shaun: *Laughing* "I was four and a NUMBER of decimals!"

Mark: "I was seven point two, I believe."

Jason: "Okay." *Reading from 'The Book'* " 'Charming and timeless, this larger than life story mixes the absurd with the ordinary to great effect.  Big concepts, scary monsters and a fast, witty script make this one of the most satisfying Doctor Who adventures ever!  Ten out of ten!!' "

*Cue many Ooo's and Wow's from the group - and Leigh and Mark laugh*

MJ: "I'd certainly agree with the witty script."

Jason: "We've not had one of those before, have we?!"

Mark: "I think the writer of 'The Book' had ALSO given up on Pertwee being any good!"

*HUGE LAUGHTER*

MJ: "Still not a fan?  He's not won you over at all?"

Leigh: "RUN you over??"

MJ: "WON you over!"

*MJ and Leigh laugh*

Leigh: "In his stupid, yellow car?!"

MJ: "Hey!  Bessie's great!!" *Leigh laughs* "What's the next Story, Jason?"

Jason: "Oh!  Hang on!  The LAST ten out of ten was 'The Daleks' Master Plan'."

MJ: "Oh wow!"

Jason: "Oh the NEXT story is 'FRONTIER IN SPACE'!!  Not 'Pigs In Space'."

MJ: "Okay, that should be good then.  Don;t look forward in 'The Book'!"

Jason: "I've seen who's in it!"

MJ: "Yeah, okay -"

Jason: "- Actors!"

Leigh: "Kevin Costner?"

Jason: "Ohhhh - I'm not going to say anything, but I can tell you who IS in it!"

Shaun: "I'm pretty sure Jon Pertwee's in it!"

Jason: "I'll tell you who IS in it.  Michael Wisher."

MJ: "Ahh, again?"

Jason: "Yeah."

MJ: "Well there you go."

Mark: "Who's Michael Wisher?"

Leigh: "The one who made 'Death Wish'."

Shaun: *Laughing* "That is NOT Michael Winner!!"

MJ: *Laughing* "And on THAT bomb-shell - that Wisher/Winner mix-up."

Jason: "They don't mention any carnival of monsters at all?"

MJ: "Ahh.  Well erm, yes.  Bye-bye!"

*Leigh laughs*

Photo 7: At Mark's house.

Mark holding the hand-made sign in front of all.

All except for Shaun & the DVD cover!

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Well that was another load of fun and frolics and as I finish writing this up in the dying embers of 2016 - a year that has nearly rivalled the Daleks' death tally in it's obliteration of celebrities - I give you our scores!

Jason - 6.8/10

Leigh - 8/10
Mark - 7.2/10

MJ - 8/10

Shaun  - 4.652/10

This gives us an average of 6.9304 out of 10.  A score which I feel was way too low!  But them's the breaks!

Okay well lots more to write up!  So as ever until next time I shall return, yes I shall return...

MJ - 29/12/2016