Wednesday 28 October 2015

DOCTOR WHO MARATHON 46th MEET-UP - THE SPACE PIRATES

Sunday 25th October 2015


Well after last time's fun and successful transcript taken from the audio of our meeting - I decided to do the whole thing again as it went down well with people!

This time we were gathered around Jason's to watch the LAST EVER RE-CON!  "The Space Pirates" is a tale in which only one out of its six episodes exists.  So let's dive straight into that lovely Sunday day......



MJ: "We're at Jason's again for the last ever re-con" - 
Mark: "Are you recording again?"
MJ: "Yeah that was quite good last time - the transcript..."
Mark: "Oh, fair enough..."
MJ: "So, hey, Mark...
*noticing Jason's put the menu onto Bonus features*
No we don't want the bonus feature ones!"
Leigh: "No, It's bad enough watching the whole thing!"
Mark: "Is the bonus feature also re-cons?"
MJ: "No... Oh hey, why are the pirates in space, Mark?"
Mark: "Why not?"
MJ: "Because there" *puts on pirate voice* "Arrr!"
Mark: "Oh...okay..."
MJ: "Hey Leigh, why are the pirates in space?...."
Leigh: "Because there" *puts on pirate voice* "Arrr!"
MJ: "Ahh that's Shaun coming in!  So we're all around Jason's again for 'The Space Pirates' and"
*noticing the TV still yabbering* "the guy won't bloody shut up on the telly!"
Mark: "He want to tell you about Space Pirates!"
MJ: "Ahh yes, hey Shaun why are there pirates in space!?"
Shaun: "Go on."
MJ: "'Cos there" *puts on pirate voice* "Arrr!  So everyone knows the joke now - that's good!"
Leigh: "That won't stop Michael telling it again..."
MJ: "Hey Leigh..."
*much laughter - honest....*
MJ: "Anyhow how are your expectations of 'The Space Pirates' before we start?"
Shaun: "Okay, ludicrously high!  I've NEVER looked more forward to a Doctor Who in my life!  If this ISN'T perfection, in Doctor Who form, then I'm going to be crushingly disappointed and I may possibly cry!"
MJ: "Ohhh...."
Jason: "I'm expecting Jolly Rogers and huge galleons with big sails - SOLAR sails - flying through space."
MJ: "Ahh well you DO get that... but in a Peter Davison story!"
*much laughter*
MJ: "So I've not watched this - I've held off watching this last re-con so I could watch it with YOU guys!
Or it's just that I've never gotten around to watching it!"
Shaun: "I am very much imagining Nikolai Dante taking form."
Mark: "Yes that's what I'm imagining but I don't think it's going to be that that!"
MJ: "Is that anything to do with 'Dante's Peak'?"
Shaun: "No."
Leigh: *laughing* "No!  Certainly not!  If that's the best Dante reference you could come up with, then that's rubbish!"
MJ: "Yeah, I'm afraid I don't know.."
Leigh: " 'If it's anything to do with Dante's Divine Comedy' would have been a better thing to say!"
MJ: "Ahh yes!"
Shaun: "No that's FAR too obvious - a weird Pierce Brosnan versus a volcano, late 90's reference is FAR more appropriate!"
MJ: "I like the Divine Comedy's 'National Express' song."
Leigh: "Yes you would...."
Shaun: "I like 'Something For The Weekend'."
MJ: "Yeah that's good - actually that is a VERY good song!  Siobhan likes 'The Frog Princess' - but enough about her amphibian fetishes!"
Shaun: "Oh it's a song by the Divine Comedy? I thought you meant she liked the Disney film with the first black princess and all that."
Leigh: "Yeah but she wasn't a frog?"
Shaun: "No but she turned into a frog at one point!"
Leigh: "Did she?"
Shaun: "Yeah they BOTH turned into frogs - the Prince AND the Princess!  I literally saw a review of this about two days ago as I wondered if later Disney movies were worth watching!"
MJ: "Hello 70 year old MJ listening back to this - this is what your friends used to talk about.  You know, when you had friends.  Do you remember that?!  Stop pissing yourself!"
Shaun: "If we get to the end of Doctor Who!"
MJ: "Yeah, we'll still be here watching, probably!  Right onto Episode 1!"

AFTER EPISODE 1:

MJ: "Well that was the first episode - lots of stuff going on - what do you think of that then, Mark?"
Mark: "I like the General's Voice."
MJ: "The General's voice is one of the oddest things I've ever heard!"
Mark: "Yes I really liked that."
*MJ does impression of the voice*
Mark: "Yeah I'm not sure what accent he was supposed to be doing!"
Jason: "He kept veering between accents - at one point I thought it was the voice from Bagpuss - he kept over-enunciating.  Then I thought he was Schwazennegar-y"
MJ: "Yeah!  I thought at first he was American, then he wasn't - he was, like, Martian!"
Shaun: "It's like he started with an accent and just stopped!"
Mark: "Yeah he was like 'I'm not doing that anymore'."
MJ: "It's a bit hard to work out what's going on!"
Shaun: "He gets on set, tries one line, thinks 'That's not working' so tries another accent!"
Mark: "No time to re-film - just carry on!"
Shaun: "That's the LEAST of things that they need to re-film on some of these!"
Leigh: *pointing and laughing at Jason* "Jason's having trouble opening a DVD box!"
Shaun: "We may have to call for an ACTUAL adult!"
*Jason opens it*
Leigh: "Hooray!" *claps*
MJ: "I think my problem was they were trapped on that space station where they were going to be destroyed - they could have just gotten BACK on the TARDIS.  I know they never do but -"
Shaun: "- No, they'd gone through a couple of doors"
MJ: "Oh had they?"
Shaun: "Yeah and they were sealed."
Mark: "They couldn't get back, they got cut off"
Shaun: "They were sealed in that one room - unless, like, the raw deal on this one is that 'Oh there's a cupboard there' and that leads out into the main hallway again!"
Mark: "I'm sure they're in one of the little pods that got blasted away from the centre?  So, they'll get picked up by the pirates?"
MJ: "Leigh, disappointed so far by the pirates?"
Leigh: "No patches, no parrots."
MJ: "No."
Jason: "I don't mind the first pirate, he looks alright - nice visors. I like visors."
Leigh: "I've not seen any legs but as far as I can tell none of them has a peg-leg.  No hooks for hands."
Mark: "No beards."
Leigh: "Yeah!  No beards."
Shaun: "Well, again, they have space-gloves on so there may be hooks within the space gloves."
Leigh: "Maybe..."
MJ: "Well we've not seen ALL the pirates yet, there may be ONE who's got a peg leg!"
Shaun: "It is called 'The Space PirateS'!  We have seen two so that is a proper use!"
MJ: "Okay we're going on to the realistic - tut!  'Realistic'  I mean MOVING episode.  So enough Dorito talk (they were discussing the new Roulette Doritos) - onto Episode 2!"


 Photo 1:
Jason (holding the sign),
Mark (holding the Space Pirates Re-con DVD Cover),
Shaun (holding the Lost In Time DVD Cover)
 and Leigh around Jason's house

****************************************************************************************************
EPISODE 2 GETS WATCHED.... 

MJ: "Well we've just watched the existing Episode 2.  Things are happening, stuff's happening.  We all seem to be very intrigued by the lady's (Madeleine Issigri) hair-piece which was a metal, side-parting, short - "
Leigh: "- Arse!"
MJ: "Erm, arse, as Leigh said.  So I'd watched that single episode before but out of contex so it seemed odd to me.  But now I've seen the first one I understand it better!"
Shaun: *laughs* "You watched part 2 of a 6 parter on it's own and it didn't make sense?!  What a shock!"
MJ: "Yeah but it was before I got the re-cons so I I'd bought this 'Lost In Time' set so I just watched it there.  So it was just Zoe, Jamie and the Doctor in a box....trying to get off a box!"
Leigh: "They've hardly been in it!"
Shaun: "The Space Pirates themselves weren't in that one a heck of a lot!"
MJ: "No, no..."
Shaun: "It was mostly that guy from command, with THAT voice..and his prostitute!"

MJ: "Yes the woman that's just turned up with the silver side-parting hair thing - I did enjoy the old-timer prospector, Clancy."
Leigh: "He was dreadful!"
Shaun: "I did find him really annoying!"
Mark: "Terrible."
MJ: "REALLY!!?"
Shaun: "Otherwise I'm quite enjoying this but he was very annoying!"
MJ: "Oh God I think he's brilliant!"
Mark: "It makes me wanna watch 'Firefly'!"
MJ: "Was there an old prospector in that?"
Mark: "No but it's a Space Western, which is what they've gone and made - as opposed to Space Pirates!  There's no PIRATES - there's COWBOYS!"
MJ: "I like his accent rather more than the way General (Hermack) speaks!"
Shaun: "Oh and while we're talking about him let's say 'AccentS'!  'Cos he does not just have one! There are several in there!"
MJ: "Yes, there's a plethora of accents!  I've got to spell 'plethora' later!"
Shaun: "Oh are we playing that game?! There are a MYRIAD of accents!"
Mark: "A SMORGASBORD of accents!"
Shaun: "Excellent!  An Antidisestablishmentarianism of accents!"
MJ: "There's a LOT of them - let's be fair.  And lots of suggestive space-ship shots. Also Zoe's thighs!  I'm very happy to see lots more of those!  Very nice legs indeed!"
Mark: "Yeah..."
MJ: "Clambering up!  So that's another good thing!"
Shaun: "So we went from nought to sleazy in, like, half a second!"
MJ: "Well, what can you do?"
Shaun: "Well I hope you're not going to do it on the couch with US around!"
MJ: "But are you enjoying it SO far?"
Shaun: "Yes, it's pretty fun!  The outfits are ludicrously silly!"
MJ: "They usually are - how about you Mark?"
Mark: "I'm waiting to see whether I like it or not!"
MJ: "Yeah it's hard to tell after two."
Shaun: "We do still have four more episodes on quite a slim premise, so they have to slowly get between the boxes as if it were a cavern an episode."
Mark: "I'm edging towards that this MAY be annoying."
MJ: "I do like that one of the guys has nicked an Ice Warriors helmet - clearly they don't need them anymore as they're dead!"
Mark: "At least he polished it up nice."
MJ: "Hah!  Polished his helmet!"
Mark: "And there we go."
MJ: "There we go, we'll leave it there and see what Jason thinks.  Jason, what are you reckoning so far?"
Jason: "I like the second episode better than the first episode."
MJ: "Well it is a moving one and maybe that helps!"
Jason: "I know but it had more Doctor in it and I liked the prospector guy (Clancy)."
MJ: "Yeah I do - but the rest of the guys were not so keen!"
Jason: "Yeah I mean he's a very caricature bloke but I think you need that when you've got all the others.  I'm still not sure on the main head guy."
MJ: "With the accent that goes all over the place!"
Jason: "Very stagy, I need to find the book as I recognise the voice definitely!  I also recognise Clancy - he may have been in 'The Professionals' or something."
MJ: "I wonder if he IS American as he does a good 'Old Prospector' accent."
Jason: "Oh I don't think so!"
MJ: "He could have been in the Gunfighters?"
Jason: "I did think that."
MJ: "So episode 2?..."
Jason: "Generally okay - the costumes could be better, they're alright for what they are.  I think everything's nicely designed.  Not sure about the bum head thing (on Madeleine Issigri's head), I'm not even sure who she is yet - maybe we'll find out in the next episode!"
MJ: "The bum head - meaning her hair?"
Jason: "Maybe if we hadn't have talked so much through the last episode we'd have found out who she is!"
MJ: "Yeah there was a lot of talking.  So onto Episode 3!"


Photo 2:
MJ (holding the sign),
Mark (holding the Space Pirates Re-con DVD Cover),
Shaun (holding the Lost In Time DVD Cover)
 and Leigh around Jason's house.

****************************************************************************************************
EPISODE 3 GETS WATCHED.... 

MJ: "So another episode finished there - Leigh, what was that episode sponsored by?"
Leigh: "Argonite!"
MJ: "Argonite you say?  Hey, hey I can do my joke!  Ahem, I wonder if there are lots of Argonites with a guy called Jason, Jason!  Jason and the Argonites - oh, Jason's left the room."
Shaun: "So unimpressed with the first hearing of the joke, Jason has left the room!"
MJ: "Err apart from it being quite bit fuzzy and not knowing what was going on a lot of of the time."
Jason: "Just piracy, brothels and bum-heads."
Mark: "All I know is that I need some Argonite - my life is not complete without it!"
Leigh: *checking his phone* "I've found it!  Argonite - it's good for putting out fires apparently. 'Gaseous fire suppressant'"
Shaun: "And making into space ships - we have learnt."
MJ: "I thought Cat People were good at putting out fires?  David Bowie joke - it was one of his songs..."
Shaun: "Cat People were good at putting out fires?"
MJ: "Cat People Putting Out Fire - I'll stop this now!
Oh yeah the Doctor and co fell down a slidey-slope which looks fun - although they were screaming!  It was a big, like - I can't think what you call those chutes?"
Leigh: "Slide."
MJ: "Yes slide, Leigh.  Well done!"
*Leigh laughs*



Photo 3:
Jason (holding the sign),
Mark (holding the Space Pirates Re-con DVD Cover),
Shaun (holding the Lost In Time DVD Cover)
 and Leigh around Jason's house.

****************************************************************************************************
EPISODE 4 GETS WATCHED....

MJ: "I wanna see Dervish spin around - so we see a whirling Dervish!  So at the moment I was thinking that Clancy is going to be the master-mind villain behind it all - with his bumbling."
Shaun: *incredulous* "Really?"
MJ: "Yeah I thought so, but now I'm not so sure."
Mark: "It's obvious that it's her (Issigri)."
Shaun: "She's got the ship that the pirates are using in her office - a lift goes right down to the pirates from her office."
MJ: "Yeah, I thought that Clancy was pretending to help them but he's not."
Mark: "Ahh you thought it was TOO obvious and so was a double bluff and was going to be actually the guy who the General thought all along."
MJ: "That's right, yes I did.  But then I didn't trust that woman, Issigri, either when she was there going 'Oh yeah I'm trying to help' - I was like 'Oh yeah, whatever, Bitch!'"
Mark: "I wouldn't trust any woman with a bum on her head."
MJ: "There's a general rule for life, Mark.  So two more episodes - how are we all holding up?"
Mark: *sarcastically* "Well I reckon they could stretch this out to another 4 episodes!"
*laughter*
Leigh: "It's like one of the old historical episodes insomuch as the TARDIS crew have no effect on the plot whatsoever!  They've just been caught up in the middle of it!  Something which would have happened irrespective of whether they were there or not."
MJ: "That's true - they just seem to be bumbling along."
Leigh: "Yes. 'Oh I've lost the TARDIS.  Where's the Argonite?  Can I have some Argonite, please?  We can make a new TARDIS out of Argonite.  We can build a TARDIS with Argonite - we can be the richest people in the World!' "
MJ: "I do like -"
Leigh: "- Argonite?"
MJ: "- That the Doctor has set up something that's actually killed somebody - on purpose!  The electrocution thing."
Shaun: "Well, again, in the last arc we watched he literally murdered the Ice Warriors - so killing one guard isn't a problem!  He's like The Punisher in space now."
MJ: "He doesn't directly do it though, does he?  He's like 'I'll leave this electrical thing up there and if somebody touches it - it's not my fault!"
Shaun: "Well no, he KNEW the guards were coming!  That is pre-meditated murder!  Leigh's just outside.  Now if I was to set up a big swinging axe here that, when Leigh walked back in the room, stabbed him through the chest, I'm pretty sure the Police wouldn't say "Oh well, you only set it up - you didn't MAKE him walk back through the door!"
Leigh: "Are you trying to kill me?"
Shaun: "No I was making an example and you were the only person out of the room at the time!"
MJ: "It would make slower stories more fun though, wouldn't it?"
Shaun: "After my initial comments about the first two parts - I quite enjoyed the first two parts but that seemed a lot of filler!"
MJ: "Oh it did!"
Shaun: "And I really hate the Space Pirates!"
Leigh: "And they're not pirates, it IS just like a Western. They're a group of bandits getting stuff for a woman that owns the, I don't know, the rail road - or something."
MJ: "And she's the villain.  Or is she?  I don't know!  I think she is..."
Shaun: "She is pretty much."
MJ: "Two more parts - I wonder if it was moving maybe we'd be into it more."
Jason: "I agree with that."
Shaun: "There's not a lot to show moving.  I think the army guys are just moving around that one room!  Back and forth between the same monitors!"
MJ: "For me it's not the fact it's not moving, it's the fact that the sound quality is quite poor!"
Shaun: "Sound quality is really bad, I'm having a job following this."
Leigh: "Well you can't hear anyway!"
MJ: "What?!"
Leigh: "Exactly!"
Jason: "Well the bits we DID see moving, I don't think the Director was pretty good with that either!  It was just pointing at people!"
Shaun: "Yeah we had a treat with the last story, we had some lovely direction."
Jason: "The last one was really good but this one is all 'I'm going to talk and then I'll stare right at YOU!' "
Shaun: "The camera is uncomfortably close to people's faces at points!"
MJ: "Oh yeah the last story was 'Seeds of Death' - although I'm not keen on the story the direction was quite good!"
Leigh: "Yeah you know what this story needs?  More foam!"
MJ: "There's been no foam??"
Jason: "There's still two episodes to go!  *laughter*
You were saying by episode three last time 'we need some foam'!"
Shaun: "Argonite was foam all along!"
Jason: "Argonite in a can!"
MJ: "Yup the Doctor's going to be walking along a beach and then he'll see the Statue of Liberty all covered in foam and he'll be like 'Nooooo!  You really did it this time!  Jamie, it was the Earth all along!  They really did it this time!'  So let's stop there as I'm up to 15 minutes!"



Photo 4: 
MJ (holding the sign),
Mark (holding the Space Pirates Re-con DVD Cover),
Shaun (holding the Lost In Time DVD Cover)
 and Leigh around Jason's house.

****************************************************************************************************
EPISODE 5 GETS WATCHED....

Shaun: *laughing* "I'm sensing that Jason's estimation of this particular story-arc has gone down!"
Jason: "I decided in the last one that I wasn't enjoying but I'm think there's been worse.  I'm sure the re-con factor isn't helping!"
Leigh: *laughing* "That picture they keep showing of Kevin looks like he fisting someone!"
Jason: "Maybe he's just letting a fart off and no-one knows!"
MJ: "Yeah the one who keeps grinning manically!"
Jason: "I kind of see Bob Mortimer in his face!  I can also see a young Joker."
MJ: "So the woman - "
Shaun: "Madeline."
MJ: "Yeah, well her father's come back - who looks like Karl Marx, just to bring you up to speed.  He's gone mad, they thought he'd died years ago but he's been hiding in a library or something."
Shaun: "He's been locked in a library, in a cavern!"
Jason: "Well he said he wanted to keep the library locked and they said 'Well we may as well keep you in there!' "
Leigh: "Well we can't understand a bloody word he says so no-one knows any more about him!"
Shaun: "The scene with him and the old Prospector talking was just f**king nothing to me!  I did NOT catch a word!"
MJ: "The audio is awful in this!"
Jason: "And the subtitles are making my eyes go blurry!"
*All laugh*
Jason: "It's a feast for ALL the senses!"
*All laugh*
MJ: "It's like hearing Jimmy Stewart if he was trying to speak under a vat of treacle!  I'd love to hear this with clean audio, just to see if it is as shit is - "
Jason: "If they find it, I don't want to see it!"
*All laugh*Mark: "Never again!"
MJ: "Okay Episode 6 - we're going to go on"
Jason: "This is the last re-con!"
MJ: "Oh yes!"
MJ/Shaun/Mark: "The LAST re-con!" 
MJ: "Yay!"



Photo 5:
Mark (holding the Space Pirates Re-con DVD Cover)around Jason's house.
The story is one of the few to start to put him to sleep!


**************************************************************************************************** 
EPISODE 6 GETS WATCHED....

MJ: "Okay well that was the last episode of 'The Space Pirates'.  They're going back to the TARDIS which was orbiting Lesbos or Lobos or Lobot - Lando's friend in 'Empire (Strikes Back)' "
Mark: "The last ever re-con."
MJ: "Yes, the last ever re-con.  Hey how did we find that story?"
Jason: "I enjoyed that it was the last ever re-con.  I mean it has potential but lacked action."
Shaun: "And that American Prospector guy can just f**k right off!"
Jason: "There was a story there!  There was a plot!"
Leigh: "Just no Doctor Who in it!"
*The video starts again*
Shaun: "No!"
Leigh: "Nooooo, not again!"
MJ: "Well I'd never seen it before - "
*The video starts again*
MJ: "Jason, for flip's sake!  If I have to watch 'The Space Pirates' again I'll gouge out my own ears and eyes AND brain!
You know that could have been WORSE, for me, than 'The Web Planet!' "
Shaun: "Really?"
Mark: "No!"
Jason: "It wasn't THAT bad!  I didn't mind it!"
Shaun: "I thought it was better than the last one we saw!"
MJ: "Well I didn't hate the 'Seeds of Death' - some bits annoyed me, as we said, and we scored it quite low.  But THAT one..."
Jason: "Well it could be that it was a re-con."
MJ: "Yeah but we've had other re-cons which were good - "
Shaun: "- 'Marco Polo'!"
MJ: "'Marco Polo'!  'Daleks' Master Plan' even... I can't think of any others now my brains gone to...I mean, that was...what was GOOD about it?"
Mark: "It ended!"
Jason: "Nice model shots.  Nice characters they all had potential."
Shaun: "The plot was probably, as usual, an episode too long."
MJ: "I think if the sound hadn't have been recorded from an old telly from someone's bum!"
*laughter*
Jason: "In a bucket."
MJ: "If they hadn't put the microphone up the bum to record from the telly, then we might have heard what the bloody hell was going on!"
Mark: "I don't think so, I think that the Prospector guy was just mumbling his way through 'cos he couldn't pick an accent!"
MJ: "Yeah but a lot of the rest I couldn't make out what the bloody hell was going on there!  Leigh's gone out in disgust - or to the toilet!  Or both."
Jason: *referring to the DVD cover* "On the front, action shot of Milo Clancy eating an egg!"
MJ: "Yes, 'cos Milo Clancy does eat a darn-tootin' egg!  Thankfully that exists in the surviving episode!"
Mark: "Wow!"
MJ: "So have we gone through all the positive things?"
Mark: *referring to the photo of Milo Clancy on the DVD cover* "See when you put a copy of this online I thought you'd put a photo of one of the Technicians from the background!  I didn't realise that was an ACTUAL character!  I wondered why you'd put him in."
MJ: "No I didn't make that, somebody made it online, I just printed it out.  I'd have hated if I'd have spent time making that cover and then watched it!  I'd have hated myself for wasting that time!"
Jason: "I'll give it 3 - 2 or 3.  I'll say 3 as I hope it's better in real life."
MJ: "I was thinking around 3 as well.  I did LIKE the character of Milo - which others didn't.  I thought he was quite fun."
Jason: "I thought he was quite good."
MJ: "And I liked the episode that exists was quite good - and the first one."
Mark: "I liked the character, I just think the actor must have been taken round the back of the building and shot at the end to make sure."
MJ: "Mark's out of 10, Leigh?"
Leigh: "3."
Jason: "The actor who played Milo was in Midsomer Murders in 1999!"
MJ: "Marks, Mark?"
Mark: "3."
MJ: "You're 3 as well - and how about you, Shaun?"
Shaun: "I'm going slightly above you lot with a 4.  On a par with my Ice Warriors thing - but for different reasons!"
MJ: "Well that was the last ever re-con - "
Shaun: "- Yay!"
MJ: "Do you think they have been successful as a means to watch these episodes?"
Mark: "It's better than just listening to them!"
Shaun: "Yeah!"
Jason: "There have been good there have been bad."
MJ: "It's been good to fill in the gaps."
Shaun: "I think the story's badness had little to do with the re-cons.  A lot of it was the same couple of rooms with people moving between the same places over and over again, so seeing it live may have added a little bit but not much more."
MJ: "Oh that guys gimpy face every time it cut to his grin!"
*Laughter*
Jason: "Excuse me I would have marked it 1 without THAT!"
MJ: "Ohhhh. What was that characters name?"
Shaun: "Caven".
Leigh: "Kevin!"
MJ: "Kevin The Cavern - Kevin the Fruit Bat Cavern!  Grinning away like a gimp!  Anyway what does the book say?"
Jason: *reading* "Caven was played by Dudley Foster-"
Leigh: "Dudley Moore?"
Jason: "Dudley Foster."
MJ: "Doctor Foster?"
Mark: "Dudley Moore?"
Shaun: "Forest Whitaker?"
*laugher*Leigh: "Liam Neeson?"
MJ: *laughing* "Does he have a very specific set of skills?"
Jason: *reading* "The TARDIS crew join the International Space Corps on the trail of intergalactic pirates."
MJ: *singing* "On the trail of the lonesome intergalactic pirates!"
Shaun: "Well they weren't intergalactic for a start!"
Leigh: "And they didn't  - because they never actually met up with the General Guy, did they?"
Shaun: "No!  He was astoundingly inefficient at his job!"
Mark: "And his ship was always about three days behind them at every step!"
Jason: *reading* "Jack May - "
Leigh: "Igor!" (from Count Duckula)
Jason: *reading* - " 'Was better known as Nelson Gabriel from Radio 4's 'The Archers'.
All three regulars were absent on the final episode of studio recording!' "
Shaun: "Fantastic!"
MJ: "Even they'd had enough!"
Leigh: "It's alright they had Prospector Pete so..."
Jason: *reading* - " 'An attempt to emulate the slick, Americanised 'Thunderbirds', this serial is a clinically directed, lamely acted flop in which the regulars hardly appear - 2 out of 10'."

*Gasps and Ahhhh's from us all!*
MJ: "Wow!  So we're pretty much on par with the book for that one!  That's fantastic!"
Leigh: "We were nicer!"
Mark: "We've strangely kind of merged with the opinions of the book, actually!  Perhaps we hadn't watched enough of them before!"
Leigh: "Yeah perhaps we are just becoming more and more like the jaded Doctor Who reviewer of the book!"
Shaun: "Let's just add to that, that even though we may be getting closer to the book at this point -  9 or 8 for 'St. Bartholomew's Massacre' (sic) is RIDICULOUS and WRONG!"
Jason: "I can barely remember that now...  Oh!  Is that the one where he disappears off?..."
Shaun: "That's the one where he's also the Priest AND the Doctor - "
MJ: "The Abbott!"
Shaun: "It's four episodes of NOTHING!"
MJ: "I still think that is a good one, or rather has the potential to be a good one if it existed.  I don't know, I think there's a lot we missed from there but -"
Mark: "That wasn't terrible."
MJ: "But I don't feel that with this story.  I feel if this came back I'm not sure that it would be -"
Jason: - "I'd hope it would be better."
MJ: "Well, you'd HAVE to wouldn't you?!"
Mark: "I don't see how it would be, they'd still use the same two rooms.  They still have that guy in it and..."
MJ: "Still, Zoe's legs!"
Jason: "There were Zoe's legs."
MJ: "There were the legs.  I like that.  And I think on THAT note I'll leave it!  So join us next time, fair Listeners, for 'The War Games'!"
Shaun: "You don't actually put up the audio though."
MJ: "No I don't put the audio up."
*Laughter*
Mark: "That's just for your own entertainment."
Shaun: "You should DEFINITELY put that clip in!"
MJ: "I will do, yes.  Bye byeeeeeee!"

****************************************************************************************************
So not very popular that one at all.  We gave it an average of 3.2 out of 10!
It's not really well received by the fans either and I really wanted to disagree - I'd also held off watching it until now so we could all watch it as new.  Sadly I couldn't disagree and, maybe if we found the actual thing and could understand what the fuzzy audio was saying, we might have scored it more.

Oh well, at least it's gone and next time we shall watch the first five parts of the Second Doctor's LAST story!  Oooo!

Until then, I shall return, yes I shall return

MJ - 27-10-15

Tuesday 13 October 2015

DOCTOR WHO MARATHON 45th MEET-UP - THE SEEDS OF DEATH

Sunday 12th October 2015


Sowing the Seeds of Death, Seeds of Death, Sowing the Seeds....
 

Yup we're back again with the Ice Warriors!  They were a little annoying last time and so is writing these reviews and trying to describe the story I've just seen!  So I broke with tradition this time and decided to record our thoughts on audio (using my nice phone that Leigh gave me).  The following is a transcript of what happened when we gathered around Leigh's house......

AFTER FIRST EPISODE:


MJ: "I liked that."
Jason: "Yes I was very taken with the first episode - art direction was superb.  Generally nice, good story - it'll probably all go downhill from here now."
MJ: "It had rockets in didn't it Shaun?"
Shaun: "Yeah it had rockets, lots of rockets.  I like rockets - they look like winkies."
MJ: "And Mark and Leigh are also here!"


 Photo 1:
Leigh, Mark, Shaun (holding the DVD Cover)
 and Jason (holding the sign) around Leigh's house

****************************************************************************************************
TWO EPISODES IN:

MJ: "What do you think of that so far?"
Jason: "Same as first episode, I'm enjoying it so far."
MJ: "I'm not overly keen on the story (as I've seen it before) but, yeah, I'm enjoying it so far."
Shaun: "I tell you what, from the construction of this and the previous one, I can't see ANY difference between the Ice Warriors as a threat and the Cybermen.  Except the Cybermen look cool and the Ice Warriors look kind of silly!  They don't really get much done - but then I suppose the Cybermen don't really get much done either.  The Ice Warriors are going to have to pull some bad-ass shit out of their arse to convince me that they're a threat!"
MJ: "At least the other Ice Warrior, who isn't like the ones from the previous serial, is a bit more moveable - he's not just a great hulk with a huge bump."
Shaun: "He's still tremendously slow and un-threatening."
MJ: "I don't know if I find the hissy-panting a bit annoying.  How about you Leigh, what do you think of the new ice Warriors?"
Leigh: "Well I can't remember the old ones!" *Laughs*
MJ: "They've got big booties and they know how to shake them!  I do like the pessimistic old guy (Professor Eldred) who's like 'Oh the rocket won't work - even though I've designed it!'  I think grumpy guys are great in Doctor Who - that's why I'm always pleased when we have one in it!"
Shaun: "The Ice Warriors in this one need some kind of goal - 'cos in the last one they were just trying to get home.  They'd been stuck in ice and they wanted to commandeer the space station to get home - this time they appear to be more in a conquering mode - they want to take over the Earth!  So why's that changed?  Why not just use the Cybermen?!"  AGAIN!  I wish there was just one alien" -
Leigh: - "Called Justin!"
MJ: "What about you Mark, what do think of the story so far?"
Mark: "It's alright..."
Shaun: "There's been a distinct lack of seeds!"
Leigh: "There has been Death though!"
Shaun: "I'm hoping the seeds is for the evil seaweed and we get the foam back!"
Leigh: "Oh God..."
MJ: "WELL, you heard it here first he hopes to see foam - I wonder what's going to come up - stay tuned kids!"


 Photo 2:
Leigh, Mark (holding the sign), MJ (holding the DVD Cover)
 and Jason around Leigh's house

****************************************************************************************************
AFTER EPISODES THREE AND FOUR:
 
MJ: "There's been a lot of foam - so that's good!  Well episode 4 has been the foam party one - hooray!"
Mark: "I liked the grumpy old man - he's still good, he's still grumpy and old - so that's good!"
MJ: "I think it's dragging a bit - a lot of six parters do."
Mark: "Yeah they could have done a lot of that in 1 episode I think."
MJ: "How about the foam?"
Mark: "I'm enjoying the foam - I'm just waiting for the party to start."
MJ: (chanting) "There ain't no party like a Doctor Who foam party!  Jason's nodding over there.  What are you thinking, Jason?"
Jason: "Still okay - lots of vents, lots of getting lost.  I quite like the characters - there's a bit more personality - personality goes a long way!"
MJ: "That's right."
Jason: "I like the Glockenspiely, Xylophoney music!"
MJ: "Glockenspiely, Xylophoney music is damn good!  And there's lots of dum-dum-dum-dum on the Kettle drums!"
Mark: "There's some very dramatic music whilst wandering past plumbing!"
MJ: "I'm pleased they're not using the older style Ice Warriors as much - they're a bit rubbish with their mouths!"
Mark: "Yeah."
MJ: "They're using the new Ice Lord - he's a bit better?"
Mark: "He's an Ice Lord?  Are they still called Ice Warriors because they were found in ice in the last story?"
MJ: "I believe so.  It doesn't make sense."
Mark: "No they should call them Martian Warriors."
MJ: "I guess so - they are from an icy planet but I don't know - we just don't know!"
Shaun: "Maybe they're from the ice?"
Leigh: "Yeah they are that's why they referred to them as the Ice Warriors."
MJ: "Yeah but they were called that because they were found in ice back in the day but in this one there's been no ice."
Leigh: "They still call them Ice Warriors."
MJ: "Because of one event, back in the day?  That would be like calling me Chicken Eating Man because I ate chicken once?"
Shaun: "To be fair they're evil monsters, the Doctor didn't go up to them and say 'Would you mind introducing yourselves and telling me what your ACTUAL species name is?'  And they speak English and they seem to be cool with when the Doctor's called them Ice Warriors."
MJ: "That's true.  The Doctor's not racist - he hates all aliens.  Except for Earthlings - that's good!
There was a lot in that episode that could have been cut."
Leigh: "Yes like in forgetting the way to the heating controls - what did that serve except to extend the episode?"

Shaun: "I quite like the almost post traumatic stress thing that the guy was going through - nice opposite to the cowardly guy who's clearly slowly getting a backbone - even though he's apparently already murdered the Earth!"
MJ: *Impression of Cowardly guy* "I'm not going to do it!"
*Impression of Ice Warrior* "You will do it!"
*Impression of Cowardly guy* "Alright I'll do it!  Whatever you want - or don't want, I'll do it.  Now can I have my biscuits back?"
*Impression of Ice Warrior* "Nooooo we want Hob-Nobssssssssssssss!!"

Shaun: "The Ice Warriors are still a bit rubbish though - they're quite silly - they should have just been Cybermen who look cool!  Although they are equally tricky to understand!"
MJ: "They are but these are a bit more understandable - I don't find myself thinking 'What are they saying?'"
Shaun: "I'm not very good with whispering!  I also ACTUALLY hate it as well - it's grating on my nerves!"
MJ: "Hah!  Well they're going to take over the Earth now - with foam!"
Shaun: "I'll give it this for once it's got a nice group of very interesting characters - the four of five we're seeing a lot!"
MJ: "Leigh's making tea and then we're onto our next episode!"



Photo 3:
Leigh, Mark (holding the sign) and MJ (holding the DVD Cover)
around Leigh's house.

****************************************************************************************************
AFTER EPISODE FIVE:

Jason: "They keep changing the order of the credits!  Jamie's fourth this time!  There was a non-regular before him!"
MJ: "Wow - a "Non-regular?"
Jason: "An irregular!"
MJ: *reading credits* "Terrence Dicks - does he?!  Oooo so the Doctor could get covered in foam and big bubbles. The blowing bubbles remind me of a snotty kid who should blow his nose but keeps blowing snot bubbles!

So what do we think about the solution to getting rid of the foam - water or rain?"
Jason: "So is it just going to HAPPEN to rain and that's it?"
MJ: "Well they DO have a weather control unit don't they?"
Jason: "Nah it'll just rain!"

MJ: "They'll make it rain - dammit!  That's why The Doctor was going over to the weather control unit - or running on the spot!"
Mark: "It's the same stupid plot as the film "Signs".
Shaun: "Starring famous racist Mel Gibson!"
MJ: "I think this is the last foam story for Trout-Man, anyway!"
Mark: "Ahh the last foam story for Trout-Man?"
Shaun: "Good - there's only, like, three stories left anyway!"
Mark: "We'll find that the next stories are ALL foam!"
Jason: "Yup - the Space Pirates are made of foam!"

Shaun "Due to fan demand more foam will be brought into future adventures!"
Leigh: "I'm going to write to the BBC!"
Shaun: "You know what this reboot of Doctor Who is missing?  Foam!"
MJ: "I'd happily see Clara covered in foam!"
Shaun "I don't like her!"
MJ: "Well she's no Zoe!  I must say these Ice Warriors keep going around saying Sssshhh, Shhhhhh!"
Jason: "They're all Librarians!"
MJ: "All Martians are Librarians - I'm getting that put on a t-shirt!...."


****************************************************************************************************
AFTER EPISODE SIX:

MJ: "...So that was another episode - You didn't like the word T-Mat being said too many times?"
Jason: "No."
MJ: "It does sound like a sanitary product."
Leigh: "What do you dislike about T-Mat."
Jason: "Nothing, the tea was lovely - and don't call me Matt!  I keep hearing TK-Maxx - plus I keep thinking of the word TWAT - since you pointed it out.  'Oh can you TWAT us back to Earth?!' "
Leigh: "Or T-Wat!"
Jason: "A lot of these lines are too close together!"
MJ: "Of the titles, Listener!"
Jason: "Jason's referring to the end credits."
MJ: "So did you enjoy that Shaun?"
Shaun: "No I did not enjoy that at all!"
Mark: "It started well!"
Shaun: "Oh yes I liked the first episode with the grumpy old man!  And then it was the usual - well actually, no, it's been a while but I will say that was two episodes too long!"
Mark: "Yeah."

Shaun: "The Ice Warriors are rubbish, I'm sorry they look shit!  They are completely un-functional as a villain - just rubbish!"

MJ: "I have to say this story is not one of my favourites.  I liked the grumpy guy and when I re-watched the first episode again I thought 'Oh perhaps I'm wrong perhaps it IS good 'cos he's good and I like a few of the characters!'"
Shaun: "I liked a lot of the extra characters actually -  I liked the scared guy and his character arc.  I liked the guy who rigged up the device to kill the aliens and then got into the vents and everything.  I think it was a bit repetitive of previous stories - I just think The Ice Warriors are shit!"
MJ: "Mark, do you think the Ice Warriors are shit? Or do you a have a special place in your Bullock heart for them? "
Mark: "I think the Ice Warriors are shit - I wasn't a big fan of that story"
Jason: "Whilst we were outside me and Mark both thought there had been more than one previous Ice Warrior story!  But we checked the book and found out there had only been one!"
Mark: "It feels like more!"
MJ: "And that hissing voice is tiring"
Jason: "I actually like the voice - one of the more successful Alien voices they've had!  It's sinister but you can understand it!"

MJ: "But it's a bit "*PANTING* I'm going to take over the Earth *PANTING* But let me get my breath back - I've been running outside and It's hot!"
Shaun: "They're just constantly incredibly aroused!"
 


Photo 4: 
Leigh, Mark, Shaun (holding the DVD Cover)
 and Jason (holding the sign) around Leigh's house. 

MJ: "So marks out of 10?"
Shaun: "I'm figuring between a 4 and a 5 - and it's going to be a 4."
Mark: "5."

Leigh: "5 - it was fine."
Jason: "5 - there's been worse than that!  Michael you've been building this up as bad for a long time and it was nowhere near as bad as I expected!"
MJ: "I'll give it Foive (there's a reference for all you people from the 60's!)"
 

So that gave us an average of 4.8 out of 10.  Overall, although we weren't keen on the story, we quite liked the sets and a lot of the imaginative filming techniques.  There were some good costumes (nice to see that they still use briefcases in the future!  Shiney jump suits and briefcases!).  Anyhow that's all for now - as an extra note Jason thought it looked liked the outdoor scenes had been filmed on Hampstead Heath - so we checked "The Book" and he was gosh darned right!
Well this has been a fun way of reviewing the story.  If you, faithful reader, wonder what the plot was all about - then go and watch the darned thing yourself!!

Anyhow I must scoot but before I do I'll leave this ponder:
will the Ice Warriors return?

 

We shall ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssseeeee.........!

Until then, I shall return, yes I shall return

MJ - 13-10-15